dudewithmemes:

historical-nonfiction:

My new diet

(Source: reddit.com)

racingbarakarts:

racingbarakarts:

My fiancé just whispered in my ear, “you’re my secret Santa”

so I said “what?”

And he went, “ah shit I meant soulmate”

The boy forgot the word for soulmate and his brain thought, “it’s called secret Santa”

(Source: racingbarakarts)

systemshocker:

good evening (in vampire voice)

officialpigeon:

Person: “I’m 6ft tall”

me: *tries to imagine six subway sandwiches on top of eachother*